Heartbreak is practically inevitable. When it happens, it is difficult enough to pick apart what game your love interest may have played, not to mention what your neurohormones have done to you. Understanding basic neurology, as it applies to sex and relationships, helps ease emotional pain and may give you the strength to shovel your way into clarity. In addition, it will enhance bonds with all the humans in your life; maybe even a few pets.
“The Complete Player” was born from the fiery gut of a broken heart and picks apart how and why we end up in toxic relationships using unbiased, raw and hilarious anecdotes on the neurology of sex & self-esteem. It is written to the mark; a person who has had their love emotion tampered with carelessly and it may be an attraction for the player; the one doing the tampering.
Dr. Brian King is a neuroscientist, comedian, speaker and author of the book “The Laughing Cure”. As a comedian, I hosted many shows (pre-pandemic) and brought this man to stage more than a dozen times as “Dr. Brian King, ladies and gentlemen,” having no idea he was an actual doctor. I thought the “Dr” part was a really unfunny joke. It turned out; he was the person that held my neuro-hand during the research stage of my book. He was my fact checker during the four and a half years it took to write it.
In short, I fell in love with a tall, fat man that didn’t fall in love with me. He was kind at first but eventually, he developed what felt like an odd, disrespectful distain for my emotional values and it tangled my brain into knots. After five years and a slew of red flags that all looked a little burgundy to me, I finally came to realize that I was being severely used. Alas, I came to my own defense and searched vigorously for books on the brain and heartbreak. What I found were fluffy self-help books where some broken-hearted person vented out for five to ten chapters on their personal experience. Worse, were the books that felt like a barrage of run-on guesses. Apparently, no one had taken the time to combine neurology with psychology to explain why people sexually use others so brazenly for sport or more importantly, why others allow it.
Naturally, I changed my course of research and took a psychology course. What I learned caused me to take a course in behavioral genetics; which lead me back around to neurology. Knowing what I know now, it’s true that living life trying to relate to other humans without a basic understanding of how our brains work is like eating cereal with a fork. You’re just not getting the full life-experience and you’re missing out on some very basic components of human behavior around bonding. Understanding it, even on a basic level, can literally take the sting out of emotional pain.
Because the book I was looking for didn’t exist, I felt summoned by the gods to write it. During the early periods of heartbreak, folks buy books; women especially in their 30’s, give or take another 10 years! In a query letter like this, I’d like to give you a quantified reader demographic, however, the world census numbers don’t account for which of its citizens are toiling with hurt feelings over a selfish, narcissistic lover. I can tell you that according to the CDC, 1 in 500 adults likely suffer from cardiomyopathy, a potentially fatal condition commonly known as broken heart syndrome. Additionally, approximately every 45 clicks on my Amazon book page yields 1 book sale. I can also tell you that when folks begin to read the eBook version, they can’t put it down and typically read all 230 pages in less than 36 hours. Lastly, my reviews are great. Its a fun, informative read.
Samantha Y. Abrams
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